Dear God

I'm sorry that I have not been putting you first lately. I have been following my own desires and I have lost control. I need you to know that I'm sorry for everything. I've mixed up my priorities. Sometimes it feels like life is impossible without an open conversation. It feels like you're ignoring me, and you don't want to talk to me and answer my prayers. But I have been putting you to the side. I have not had the self-discipline to spend even more time in the Bible than I have, and I missed church a couple times because of my poor sleep. I'd like to tell you that it won't happen again, but I can't make that promise. What I can do is ask you to help me prioritize church and wake me up on time to shower and change clothes before church. I'm committed to knowing You. I'm committed to learning all about You. I feel like I'm still not myself. I don't feel like I'm really the one in control. Will you please redeem me God? Will you please help me? I don't know if you like your followers constantly begging for your help, and that's what I feel like I'm constantly doing, because I'm undeserving of love because I'm just not capable of pleasing anyone including myself. However, You, Lord, are my rock and my salvation. I put all my reliance on You, and I depend on You to place me on a firm foundation. Take me out of this sinking sand, and don't abandon me here. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to make the right choices, and I completely believe and have faith. Why do I not feel the connection with You? Are you going to deny me? I try to love you and I feel like I'm so consumed with the man that I can't even get Your attention and love, and I feel like my flesh is completely suffering and I want to give it to him, but I can't and this is seriously hard to go through alone. I don't know if he's truly committed to you that even if he wanted me that I could give myself to him. Obviously I'm starting to struggle with lust, and I haven't dealt with it in so long that I just don't know how to contain myself. I feel odd and ridiculous and overbearing and helpless and needy. How do I get myself into a healthier situation? I know I'm going out of order. I'm sorry. Things I'm grateful for: You Things I've learned Social Services Medication and Healing Therapy Your Specific Healing of me him another day plants and animals technology I'm trying to be grateful for other humans but I don't know if I really am, yet. Maybe I will be when I go to Heaven Prayer Requests for others: That Your will be done homeless people alcoholics and drug addicts smokers non christians (for their salvation) lgbtq+ animals and plants for the planet's health the removal of unhealthy invasive species trash removal and recycling for people to overcome laziness and other mental health conditions that cause it justice for the mentally ill (abuse caused by people who hurt mentally ill and other people with neurological disorders) for children to actually try to learn to read in school instead of rebelling and causing trouble obedient children United States law posting 10 commandments in all public buildings and every school classroom. the innocence project criminal reform the justice system world governments world peace Peace for Israel anti-semetism God bless Israel modern-day jews are wrong about Jesus (except Jews that believe in Jesus) but I still care about them minorities immigration reform United States borders unborn children pregnant women abortion outlaw animal shelters and volunteers/employees underserved communities third-world countries hunger/thirst removal of pornography from schools and the internet God's will for relationships between people men/women mysogyny/feminism both are wrong God's will to be done in Hollywood and Fashion Music Art Publishing Books Libraries For interesting and skilled Christian music and hobbies completely encouraging time spent with God forgiveness compassion vs passion hope for the world/children weed outlawed alcohol prohibition or major decrease in legal amount of alcohol allowed per serving The Great Commission for more people to praise God for schools to encourage arts over sports for people to stop gambling and sports betting stop injecting jocks with steroids acceptance of natural beauty in modern day society access to affordable dental treatments necessary/orthodontics/cosmetic for Christians to stop charging high prices for quality Christian products USA debt and foreign aid for the world to thank and pay back USA for banks to stop holding on to the world's money for people to stop holding on to their wealth for people to stop living lavish luxurious lives with no intent to share with others for people to stop living without love